The Dangers of Expecting on People

Most of us are trying to improve our lives in any way we can although there are still others who are completely okay with the status quo, the way things are in and around them.

Yes, I believe in contentment when it comes to owning or possessing things, but I also believe that personal and spiritual growth is needed to live a life of purpose.

Sometimes, I believe it so much that I tend to force imparting what I know on others without really putting into consideration their readiness for what I have to say.

I’ve written before that “Contentment is a matter of being content with what you have – but realizing that we will always have to improve and get better, and eventually be excellent in whatever it is we are doing” and I stand by those words.

However, sometimes discontent creeps in especially when my expectations are not met.

For example, I always have that feeling that I want to improve the people around me – beginning from my family, friends, churchmates, etc. – and I get frustrated when I feel that all my efforts are futile as they don’t change anyway.

And so I strive to try and do it again and again with the same futile results.

This resulted in me feeling stressed, unhappy, and anxious all the time because things are not going according to, again, my expectations.

The cycle continues as I try to do more to “correct” the people around me, trying to change them in what I think should be their proper behavior.

It took a long time before I figured out that it is not in my hands to “change” people as I cannot control anybody but myself. If I want change then it must begin in me and the way I look at people.

The power to change comes from God alone and it is a person’s own choice that would bring that change in him or her if he wants to.

I found out that the root of my discontent is my expectations on others.

By not having such high expectations in people, I can freely love and see them the way our Heavenly Father loves and sees them as well. 

What I can do is to continue to try and teach them what I've learned by example, which is called integrity. I have to continue lovingly telling them reminders in the simplest way possible that they could understand, without expecting too much that they will apply them in a jiffy.

Learning patience is truly a grueling process.

I believe that each one of us has weaknesses and we are not perfect people, even those who are in leadership positions or people we think are already living blameless lives. So, I need to constantly remind myself of these things to encourage myself to move forward in my quest for growth.