How to Deal with Change
Just recently, my family went through a big change in our lives when my parents took my grandmother to America.
She had been living with us since my wife and I got married, and we knew that living without her for the first time would take a lot of adjustment in our part to get by.
It is both difficult and great in many ways because my grandmother is such a blessing to us, while we also earnestly wanted her to be with my mom for a long time.
And so, after a week of living with just the four of us - Me, Denielle (my wife), Ryah (my daughter), and Rafa (my son) - things are still shaky, but we’re expecting the best.
The only thing permanent is change
We’ve all heard the platitude: the only thing that is permanent is change.
Big and small changes happen in our lives all the time yet it still is very hard for many people to accept.
Given that most of us are comfortable with the familiar than with the unfamiliar, change can sometimes be the most difficult part of life.
Of course, part of maturing is learning how to deal with changes, and not only deal with them but to learn to move on and live life productively through complete acceptance.
We must realize that nothing is permanent in this world and it is necessary for old things to pass away for new things to begin.
It’s easy to feel relaxed with the status quo even when it’s not what we wanted. To pull ourselves back and try to keep everything the same.
Because comes with changes are challenges that require our deepest convictions, grittiest efforts, and most fervent courage.
That’s why so many settle for what is the norm even when they’re just staying in the same place, being neutral, being average, year after year after year.
Like a hamster on a spinning stationary wheel, they became comfortable in running and running and running without really going anywhere.
But life doesn’t have to be like that. It doesn’t. We don’t have to constantly live in fear. Fear of change, fear of transformation, fear of amendments and adjustments.
We can accept change boldly. And we can do it right here, right now.
How to deal with change
1. Allow the experience. When my parents told me that they will be getting grandma, I didn’t contest it even when I knew that the change would make it somehow difficult for us. Why? Because I know it is for everyone’s best interest.
In life, you can see change coming, so resist the urge to resist. Most people suffer more in the changes they have to go through because they resist what is inevitable.
Instead of resisting, adapt. Adjust. Cope up. You can’t control every situation, the only thing you have control over is yourself. You can always choose how you respond.
2. Look at the opportunity. We saw grandma’s migration to the States as an opportunity for us to learn new things and really look after ourselves as a family. So far, Denielle and I are having a great time strategizing and dividing household chores between us.
As all things fall down in front of you, keep calm and realize that not everything new is threatening. Look for hidden opportunities that come along the way.
View change as an opportunity for growth. Part of maturing is learning to deal with change, and that’s a huge personal progress.
Growth can never happen without change. Nothing beautiful comes easy. So focus on the opportunities that are there in changes, rather than on the inconveniences.
3. Find out the why. This was the key thing that made the change easy for us. We learned the reason why my mom urgently wanted to be with my grandma, and we agreed with her.
It is difficult to accept anything without knowing the reason behind why you are agreeing to something. When you take a moment and find out the why, it will make a whole lot of difference.
Sometimes, you might get a nice surprise and think that why haven’t you thought about the said change in the first place.
We may never understand, but seasons of change are probably the best times in our lives. It makes us realize our full potential. It unleashes the concealed strength we had inside all along.
Learn to accept changes in your life and watch as you move forth with boldness and contentment.